Friday, 11 May 2012

"Mom enough?"

I'm assuming most people reading this will have seen the Time magazine cover, but for anyone who hasn't it shows a mother feeding her 3 year old with the head line "are you mom enough" to accompany a artificial on attachment parenting. There has been a lot of comments on the internet about it being wrong or disgusting. When I first read about them I wanted to defend the picture, I always support any ones right to breastfeed. Any form of promotion of breast feeding, including full term breast feeding should be a posotive thing. However I don't feel I can support this image. The picture shows both mother and child looking at the camera, the child is stood on a chair. I feel that the whole picture looks too staged. Surly to promote and normalize full term breastfeeding images should be natural. This momenoughseams to me to have been set up to shock people and conform to stereotypes of extended breastfeeding. I question why the mother allowed that type of image to be used. Surly she could have requested one showing a normal feed? The child may sometimes feed standing on a chair and I know I don't have eye contact in my older breastfeeding photos as she wants to look at the camera as soon as she sees it. Yes older children feed in different positions. My daughter will feed standing up, if I go to the toilet before I get dressed in the morning she will try to feed standing next to me. I think the problem I have with the magazine cover is that a lot of people already see full term breastfeeding as odd. To me the pictures of a child feeding once they have some understanding of social manners should reflect this. I sometimes eat with my hands at home but i use a knife and folk in public. While breastfeeding, and full term breastfeeding are normal and need to be normalize there is such a strong culture against it that it needs to be done carefully. The picture seams some how detached, so if a funny one to chose for an piece about attachment parenting. The image appears to be an invitation for negative comments and accusations of forcing breastfeeding on people. Am I "mom enough" to want to cause more bad publicity and negative imagery for full term breast feeding? No, I'm just a mummy. images-1

Monday, 2 April 2012

Controlled crying: the only choice?

My daughter has slept for between 6-8 hours 5 times in the past 2 weeks. I am prod of her of that achievement and feel that we may after 25 months be coming to a point where she "sleeps through". However I am reluctant to share this with many people as so far I have just been met with blank looks, or comments about controlled crying.
While volunteering at my local children's center I made the mistake of telling one of the staff in conversion before the group started. Later on one of the mums to be was saying she didn't know how she would cope with lack of sleep. The member of staff told her it was only for a short time so she would be able to cope, unless she "made the mistakes" I made. She went to to talk about not "running to every cry". In the past I have herd other mums tell each other that they "have no choice" but to use controlled crying.
I work in a hospital and often have confused patients. When it is busy it can be annoying and feel like a wast of time having to repeatedly answer call buttons when the patient just wants to know if the button works, or to ask what the button is for but responding to it and reassuring them helps them to feel secure during their stay, I'm sure non of us would be happy for our elderly relatives to be afraid and alone when it would just take a few words from someone to reassure them. Other times there have been patients who have range the buzzer every 15 minutes to ask for a commode that they have not needed, or to ask the same questions that have already been answered. If you read in the press that those patients had not been answered and had been left to press the buzzer with no response most people would be out ranged at the neglect. Why then if we do it to our own children is it seen as "the only choice"?